Mar 28, 2008

Relationships....

As I sit to write this piece on relationships, it’s amazing to know the sort of inputs that my mind is giving me. Twenty two years of existence in a human society bonded by relations that create, define and even have the power to destroy you, makes me wonder, what is a relationship?

The easiest answer would be: to each his own. I agree that all of us have a perspective that is unique to our surroundings and our observations of the society. Yet at the end of the day, there surely has to be some common thread that binds each of our views…. Don’t we all love our parents? Wish to be married and want kids and a family; want a friend who is there in our times of need? The answer to this unique similarity that each of us share is the question that arises in my mind the most… what are relations?

For me, a relationship, between two individuals was always more about how they bonded, and shared, be as friends; relatives or even enemies (don’t enemies share a common hatred towards the other?) But as I experience more people and different relations, I understand that at the end of the day, for any individual, a relationship is not about two people, but about just one … me! It is precisely my actions, thoughts and attitude that determine the relation I would be sharing with the other person. If I choose to trust someone, forgive another, or simply possess a callous attitude towards the third, isn’t it the determining force of the nature of the relation I could be sharing with that person? Yes, my attitude and thoughts would be affected, as any other human beings, on the actions and supposed intention of the other person, not to mention the difference that two distinct backgrounds could make in any relation, but at the end of the day, isn’t the conscious awareness that accompanies our action deciding the status of our relation?

For a person like me, who has few close and truly cherished friends and relations in my personal life, (I don’t dislike the rest – am unable to hate someone; I just cannot find common ground with them) each relation I have shared with any human, in whatever capacity, be it a daughter, a sister, a friend, a colleague or even a plain well wisher, it has been a process of self discovery. Every time a conflict or a situation arises, and my immediate reaction, towards the other persons’ thoughts, actions or even the situation itself, has been an eye opener in understanding what sort of a person I am by nature. Quite a few times, I have surprised myself, not only with delight, but a few times, in shame. I may not be able to change a few of my inhibitions and innate qualities, but being aware of them has only made me realize, how much there is to improve in me as a person!

The reason I am writing this piece is partly known only by four people I am close to, while the other half, I am as yet figuring out! Yet I would really appreciate it, if any rather all of you, drop in a word telling me about your perspective on relations…. Would really love to hear your views!!

Rachana

27 comments:

PURN!MA said...

Bravo! You know what? You have left me with no words to put across my views on "relationships". I had never consciously thought about this particular topic, yet, when I read your post, I knew this is what it means to me too.

The way you have written it sounded like some complicated science theory...I ain't kidding... The effect that's brought out is BRILLIANT! And as I have always maintained that I find your articles straight from heart... this one was truely a perfect example to prove my point.

Cheers & keep writing such posts!

PURN!MA said...

Bravo! You know what? You have left me with no words to put across my views on "relationships". I had never consciously thought about this particular topic, yet, when I read your post, I knew this is what it means to me too.

The way you have written it sounded like some complicated science theory...I ain't kidding... The effect that's brought out is BRILLIANT! And as I have always maintained that I find your articles straight from heart... this one was truely a perfect example to prove my point.

Cheers & keep writing such posts!

PURN!MA said...

Bravo! You know what? You have left me with no words to put across my views on "relationships". I had never consciously thought about this particular topic, yet, when I read your post, I knew this is what it means to me too.

The way you have written it sounded like some complicated science theory...I ain't kidding... The effect that's brought out is BRILLIANT! And as I have always maintained that I find your articles straight from heart... this one was truely a perfect example to prove my point.

Cheers & keep writing such posts!

Ajan said...

(takes a deep breath and lets it out)
hmm.....(me humming a tune of "missing sunday" from the film "Sunday")
Relationship??? hmmm....!!!!

Just yesterday my friend "Lover Boy' :) left to Hyderabad, back to his home... We were together for around 5 years. Same college and same flat/room after college. He got a job in Hyderabad and he had to leave at least for his career.. now, no one would stop such a thing like his future....
the moment he finished packing his bags..I felt like... "Maaaaan!!! is this supposed to happen with me??" He had cried a few days back, since he would be leaving all his friends and most of all, the times we had in our college and outside college..

When the train started moving yesterday, my heart skipped a beat. Felt as if someone was trying to crush it and i had to take atleast 4-5 deep breaths to ease myself.. he showed it in his eyes and i did not... and the last parting words that i could think of was "dude, stop smoking da.." and he was managed to wedge out.."Ajan,take care of your career buddy"... every moment-second-millisecond that we spent in college or after college was just shown in a small hand shake..

Ajan said...

(takes a deep breath and lets it out)
hmm.....(me humming a tune of "missing sunday" from the film "Sunday")
Relationship??? hmmm....!!!!

Just yesterday my friend "Lover Boy' :) left to Hyderabad, back to his home... We were together for around 5 years. Same college and same flat/room after college. He got a job in Hyderabad and he had to leave at least for his career.. now, no one would stop such a thing like his future....
the moment he finished packing his bags..I felt like... "Maaaaan!!! is this supposed to happen with me??" He had cried a few days back, since he would be leaving all his friends and most of all, the times we had in our college and outside college..

When the train started moving yesterday, my heart skipped a beat. Felt as if someone was trying to crush it and i had to take atleast 4-5 deep breaths to ease myself.. he showed it in his eyes and i did not... and the last parting words that i could think of was "dude, stop smoking da.." and he was managed to wedge out.."Ajan,take care of your career buddy"... every moment-second-millisecond that we spent in college or after college was just shown in a small hand shake..

Ajan said...

(takes a deep breath and lets it out)
hmm.....(me humming a tune of "missing sunday" from the film "Sunday")
Relationship??? hmmm....!!!!

Just yesterday my friend "Lover Boy' :) left to Hyderabad, back to his home... We were together for around 5 years. Same college and same flat/room after college. He got a job in Hyderabad and he had to leave at least for his career.. now, no one would stop such a thing like his future....
the moment he finished packing his bags..I felt like... "Maaaaan!!! is this supposed to happen with me??" He had cried a few days back, since he would be leaving all his friends and most of all, the times we had in our college and outside college..

When the train started moving yesterday, my heart skipped a beat. Felt as if someone was trying to crush it and i had to take atleast 4-5 deep breaths to ease myself.. he showed it in his eyes and i did not... and the last parting words that i could think of was "dude, stop smoking da.." and he was managed to wedge out.."Ajan,take care of your career buddy"... every moment-second-millisecond that we spent in college or after college was just shown in a small hand shake..

Ode Writer said...

u guys are leacving me speechless!!

@Ajan... the worse part of growing up, is seperating... but the better part of it all is understanding that someone will always be there for u when u need them the most... may not be in the same way, yet...

@Poo... firstly... Me??!!...lolz
Thx for the compliments (blushes profusely)... yet i need ur take on this... dont side step my request dear! ;-)

Cheers

Ode Writer said...

u guys are leacving me speechless!!

@Ajan... the worse part of growing up, is seperating... but the better part of it all is understanding that someone will always be there for u when u need them the most... may not be in the same way, yet...

@Poo... firstly... Me??!!...lolz
Thx for the compliments (blushes profusely)... yet i need ur take on this... dont side step my request dear! ;-)

Cheers

Ode Writer said...

u guys are leacving me speechless!!

@Ajan... the worse part of growing up, is seperating... but the better part of it all is understanding that someone will always be there for u when u need them the most... may not be in the same way, yet...

@Poo... firstly... Me??!!...lolz
Thx for the compliments (blushes profusely)... yet i need ur take on this... dont side step my request dear! ;-)

Cheers

Ashwin said...

well done ..rach...u made me really think hard on relationship...which is just one "other" word in the language..and as far as the views are concerned..will blog it soon!!

Ashwin said...

well done ..rach...u made me really think hard on relationship...which is just one "other" word in the language..and as far as the views are concerned..will blog it soon!!

Ashwin said...

well done ..rach...u made me really think hard on relationship...which is just one "other" word in the language..and as far as the views are concerned..will blog it soon!!

Riddhi said...

hey rachana... very true .. this blog was very striking yaar..

I think relation/ship is more about connections which we feel from inside n dont wish to move or do anything against it.

To me relations are more of a mystery. I do like to set boundaries or limits on it...the more 2 ppl r left free by each other is d more they rebounce back... n if they dont then it just shows the end .....

Every relation teaches you something... u keep expecting somethng frm the other or assume [like u do most of d times]. But i feel that if the other person doesnt give u back wat u expected then it brings more color to the relation... everything unexpected must b taken in a good spirit for better understanding n better "connections".

Love u rach

Riddhi

Riddhi said...

hey rachana... very true .. this blog was very striking yaar..

I think relation/ship is more about connections which we feel from inside n dont wish to move or do anything against it.

To me relations are more of a mystery. I do like to set boundaries or limits on it...the more 2 ppl r left free by each other is d more they rebounce back... n if they dont then it just shows the end .....

Every relation teaches you something... u keep expecting somethng frm the other or assume [like u do most of d times]. But i feel that if the other person doesnt give u back wat u expected then it brings more color to the relation... everything unexpected must b taken in a good spirit for better understanding n better "connections".

Love u rach

Riddhi

Riddhi said...

hey rachana... very true .. this blog was very striking yaar..

I think relation/ship is more about connections which we feel from inside n dont wish to move or do anything against it.

To me relations are more of a mystery. I do like to set boundaries or limits on it...the more 2 ppl r left free by each other is d more they rebounce back... n if they dont then it just shows the end .....

Every relation teaches you something... u keep expecting somethng frm the other or assume [like u do most of d times]. But i feel that if the other person doesnt give u back wat u expected then it brings more color to the relation... everything unexpected must b taken in a good spirit for better understanding n better "connections".

Love u rach

Riddhi

Ode Writer said...

@ Rids... thx for commenting :) but what i meant was that even the assumptions and the decisions that i make, reflect as much on me as they do on the other!

I agree with the limits theory, but am unable to get the color and bounce logic :| ... mebbe thats coz i see them as something definate, while u prefer going with the flow theory...

would love to discuss it further soon enough

Take Care, Garnier :) :P

Ode Writer said...

@ Rids... thx for commenting :) but what i meant was that even the assumptions and the decisions that i make, reflect as much on me as they do on the other!

I agree with the limits theory, but am unable to get the color and bounce logic :| ... mebbe thats coz i see them as something definate, while u prefer going with the flow theory...

would love to discuss it further soon enough

Take Care, Garnier :) :P

Ode Writer said...

@ Rids... thx for commenting :) but what i meant was that even the assumptions and the decisions that i make, reflect as much on me as they do on the other!

I agree with the limits theory, but am unable to get the color and bounce logic :| ... mebbe thats coz i see them as something definate, while u prefer going with the flow theory...

would love to discuss it further soon enough

Take Care, Garnier :) :P

mithunkotian said...

You is evil and you is so sensible...you is sensible evil :P
ok, leaving all the kidding aside...
Its a wonderful post, and quite on the spot.
Here are my two paisas on the topic,
A relationship between two individuals is more about the comfort level that they share with each other & what they expect out of each other..a successful relationship is where the give-take equations are realistically set.

Thats abt as sane as I can get :P

mithunkotian said...

You is evil and you is so sensible...you is sensible evil :P
ok, leaving all the kidding aside...
Its a wonderful post, and quite on the spot.
Here are my two paisas on the topic,
A relationship between two individuals is more about the comfort level that they share with each other & what they expect out of each other..a successful relationship is where the give-take equations are realistically set.

Thats abt as sane as I can get :P

mithunkotian said...

You is evil and you is so sensible...you is sensible evil :P
ok, leaving all the kidding aside...
Its a wonderful post, and quite on the spot.
Here are my two paisas on the topic,
A relationship between two individuals is more about the comfort level that they share with each other & what they expect out of each other..a successful relationship is where the give-take equations are realistically set.

Thats abt as sane as I can get :P

Ode Writer said...

@TT: U not mention..i is Evil with capital E :P

heheh.... i agree with u abt the whole comfort level and practical way of looking @ the other person! :)

Ode Writer said...

@TT: U not mention..i is Evil with capital E :P

heheh.... i agree with u abt the whole comfort level and practical way of looking @ the other person! :)

Ode Writer said...

@TT: U not mention..i is Evil with capital E :P

heheh.... i agree with u abt the whole comfort level and practical way of looking @ the other person! :)

Aareet said...

Nice! although I don't know the inspiration...

Aareet said...

Nice! although I don't know the inspiration...

Aareet said...

Nice! although I don't know the inspiration...