Mar 14, 2007

Changing equations...........

Different people get different insights in our life! They teach you something new, give you experiences, you never would have had, otherwise. They can sometimes alter your perspective towards a lot of things, completely! Well, whether we like it or not, people do affect our lives, thoughts and approach, and this whole process is worth every effort, every heart ache, and every bad friendship, we might have encountered - because at the end of the day, they teach us something new too, right?

Well, some of us, unfortunately, miss the whole experience, because, we prefer to put ourselves in our own closed world, shying away from experiencing new friendships, from feeling them within us and around us. I was, and to some extent, still am, one of those! (OK.......ALL MY FRIENDS TAKE A BOW, FOR DRILLING THIS IN MY HEAD!!!)

No, but seriously, its only recently, that I have started to actually understand what I just might have missed...... sure, I have some amazing friends, great memories, and wonderful family, but for a change, I am ready to experience the company of people beyond my comfort zone, which I had shut myself up from, for various reasons.... right from my fear of encountering betrayals from friends, to the whole, I am too cool to be nice phases! Yea, i still am not THAT comfy with absolute strangers asking me personal questions, but, I guess, making an effort to be more tolerant and 'open' towards others would be a right step ahead, watsay????

Would just like to say a BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU to my special friends Rosh, Rids, Nemo, Sona, Saks ..........because i felt like it!!!

Mar 6, 2007

My current state of mind

Well, another week passed away! and this was one of those weeks where nothing much was happening around me, but a lot was being played on in my mind, amidst my attempts to clear my mind clutter (its starting to sound like Chappell's process now, hee hee hee) ,here is something that I am feeling about my life in general, as it exists now....

On the work front.... well, the 2 day break, and a more conscious attempt to keep my attitude more positive, things are looking up after a long long time... i am again, pretty enthusiastic to learn more, to do more work, and achieve my goal!

On the studies front. started bit by bit, studying, making an attempt to work harder than i can, and maintaining my focus

On the personal front..... well, two-three important aspects, to be considered here..... my approach towards my job, and a certain sense of purpose, has brought back the laughter back in my life. A while back, I had turned into a screaming machine - snapping at everone and everything, putting glum faces, doing nothing, etc..... slowly but surely I am turning "NORMAL" again!

Secondly, certain things have seemed to fall into place for me now. I need to mainatin a balance between my personal and professional life....I need to start meeting my friends again, do things, I used to do earlier..... hang out again (been ages since i did that!)..... also i need to get out of this virtual world, which i had created for myself! I mean, its great, but deff no substitue for the real! To think about it, I myself, am not the same way, as I project to be online, then how can I expect, or even think that the other person, sitting somewhere, far away from me, is what he/she projects????? Dont get me wrong here. made some good friends, genuine people, who bring a smile during the day, but is that enough for my existence???? And lets be honest, it might not even last that long, you know! So i deff need to go out, take some pains, to maintain relations, and shed some inhibitions!

Speaking about inhibitions, my resolve, to try shedding my attitude, and smiling and speaking to people whom I know, isn't working :( Maybe I am a li'l scared that the response wouldn't be so good, or may be I'm not motivated enough, but its currently not working....... need to think and resolve that one!

Well, just this for now...... dont have enough time to delve on "everything" going on through my brains, right now, but ya...gotta post laters!