Sep 16, 2008

What was it again ?!!

There has been a lot of talk on this for too long now, and though most have had their say, I am still unconvinced with their versions on it! I have friends for whom it’s a living reality, so to speak… a few others, who rant a lot about it, especially on their blog and stuff… and going by the number of weddings I have been attending, I presume ‘Love’ is well, everywhere right now!

Yeah, I am writing about it… and before anyone with their over fertile imagination begins, let me say, this is not based on any personal experience or stuff, and neither am I in love or planning to get married or anywhere remotely close! So, disclaimers done, here are my views on this pretty vague topic!

I have always found talks on love rather bemusing! For I believe people most often do confuse ‘love’ as an emotion with ‘relations’ that it gets into existence! Yes, these are, according to me, two rather distinct and separate things. Love in itself, is an emotion, and a very positive one at that, that touches people at different times in their lives towards different people. It is not that complex, if you see it all by itself. Love is not about holding hands or spending time together. The funny part of emotions is that, inspite of being universal, it still is very individualistic for each person, in himself, and the same holds true for love. It leaves a mark on each of us, in its own distinct way. Its something that stays with you, even when the person may not be around. Its something, which once it touches you, changes you forever, in one way or another. Love just needs to be felt, and acknowledging its existence within you, is enough to make you feel good about yourself and things around you! It’s a bond between those involved that surpasses time and space. Love doesn’t fear saturation; it just evolves, in its own terms, in its own varied forms and shapes. It doesn’t demand anything anything, even love in return. Just as you wouldn’t expect jealousy from a person you are jealous of, love doesn’t expect love from its object of affection, which is why it’s the emotion of giving. Its about being aware of the fact that we are capable of giving and sharing so much of ourselves as individuals without expecting much in return. Its not about worrying, if this would last, but its about knowing, that this will!

Relations, on the other hand, are a different ball game altogether. It is very funny, if you notice, how God’s simple emotion can be turned into a complex structure by man’s creation of relations. I am not against relations, mind you, but its sure stupid, when people equate the nature of the relations with the proportion of love. Love doesn’t need a relation to sustain it. It stays with a person, till the person is capable of emoting, in a way or another. Relationships, on the other hand, require love at their core to keep them going. While love is an emotion by itself, relationship is a commitment, an intention between the parties involved, to shape the bond or love shared between them into something distinct and unique. Relations more often than not, are based on our ‘need’ to be loved, more than our love towards the other person. And it is precisely this need that raises expectations and complicates things between two people, who may actually and truly love each other. More often than not, we hurt people we love the most, because, we expect the most from them. This is not saying that the love ceases to exist, it is just when the normal and human instincts getting better of us, than the emotion. The love still stays, just in a rather dormant form within! Like I said, we humans just love complicating things, and most often than not, we do!

Figuring out if something is love or not, well is a different question all by itself, and although I cant say much on that, I can just ask you to NOT rely on movies or books for any direction in this regard. Life doesn’t give you background music, or stormy indications like lightening or flashes and stuff, but it does give you something, a movie might never…. A smile on your face and a song in your heart!

With all this crap, I end my lecture on the MOST over rated topic of the century!

Note: This author is partly delusional and would not always want to be associated with this post. So beware!