Relationships....

As I sit to write this piece on relationships, it’s amazing to know the sort of inputs that my mind is giving me. Twenty two years of existence in a human society bonded by relations that create, define and even have the power to destroy you, makes me wonder, what is a relationship?

The easiest answer would be: to each his own. I agree that all of us have a perspective that is unique to our surroundings and our observations of the society. Yet at the end of the day, there surely has to be some common thread that binds each of our views…. Don’t we all love our parents? Wish to be married and want kids and a family; want a friend who is there in our times of need? The answer to this unique similarity that each of us share is the question that arises in my mind the most… what are relations?

For me, a relationship, between two individuals was always more about how they bonded, and shared, be as friends; relatives or even enemies (don’t enemies share a common hatred towards the other?) But as I experience more people and different relations, I understand that at the end of the day, for any individual, a relationship is not about two people, but about just one … me! It is precisely my actions, thoughts and attitude that determine the relation I would be sharing with the other person. If I choose to trust someone, forgive another, or simply possess a callous attitude towards the third, isn’t it the determining force of the nature of the relation I could be sharing with that person? Yes, my attitude and thoughts would be affected, as any other human beings, on the actions and supposed intention of the other person, not to mention the difference that two distinct backgrounds could make in any relation, but at the end of the day, isn’t the conscious awareness that accompanies our action deciding the status of our relation?

For a person like me, who has few close and truly cherished friends and relations in my personal life, (I don’t dislike the rest – am unable to hate someone; I just cannot find common ground with them) each relation I have shared with any human, in whatever capacity, be it a daughter, a sister, a friend, a colleague or even a plain well wisher, it has been a process of self discovery. Every time a conflict or a situation arises, and my immediate reaction, towards the other persons’ thoughts, actions or even the situation itself, has been an eye opener in understanding what sort of a person I am by nature. Quite a few times, I have surprised myself, not only with delight, but a few times, in shame. I may not be able to change a few of my inhibitions and innate qualities, but being aware of them has only made me realize, how much there is to improve in me as a person!

The reason I am writing this piece is partly known only by four people I am close to, while the other half, I am as yet figuring out! Yet I would really appreciate it, if any rather all of you, drop in a word telling me about your perspective on relations…. Would really love to hear your views!!

Rachana