I can assure you, it wasn’t love at first sight! Simply because I was way too small and don’t even remember when I first lay my sight on him. But it is love, alright! Mind you, I am not the first person to have fallen for him; he is way too good looking to go unnoticed for this long, and considering that his fan following cuts across all age barriers, insecurity is definitely an issue I am learning to handle! :)
Unlike other times, my first impression was that which left me frightened… yeah… I can be irrational at times! But slowly and surely, it changed. In spite of hearing a lot about his charm and exuberance, I was always sceptical to give him a chance to be a part of my life, to give in to his ways, of which I had heard a lot. Yet, his presence in my life and sequence of events cannot go unnoticed. He was always there, calm, quite, sometimes extremely turbulent, but always leaving an unmistakable impact on my mind, wooing me in his own unique way, sometimes serenading a beautiful rhythm, sometimes, astounding me with his extreme calmness (which can be really deceptive, mind you!)
It had been ages since I had seen him… and they say, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, turned out to be true in my case too! :) I was missing him a lot, and when I was told, that he would be there on my recent road trip to Malvan, I jumped at the opportunity to meet him, to see him, sans a second thought!... and when I finally did meet him, after so many years, I knew it was love forever! I still remember how he looked in the middle of the full moon night, amidst the flurry of activity by the fisher folk around him, he was there, silent, charming, singing his own song, welcoming me, with all his beauty, I felt like the most beautiful and spoilt female on earth! : D… that is until I lay my eyes on him, at 5:30 a.m. against the beautiful sunrise on the Konkan landscape! (Trust me, I had goose bumps!!)
And yet yesterday, with a very heavy heart, I had to bid him adieu! Leaving him behind was like leaving a part of me. Staying together was impossible, but I did promise to return to him, frequently, as much as possible, and I sure hope I do! (It isn’t a promise I want to break anytime forever!)
Here’s to my love, THE SEA !!
May 22, 2008
May 13, 2008
I SAID : Nothing… and that made it even more obvious!!
I WANT TO : Fight with someone… just to transfer my frustration on that person :P
I WISH : I could go back exactly one year… to the days of my crazy trip with Saa, down south… or even re-do the whole thing again!!!..... How I wish she was here!! :P
I WONDER : if I need to start going out more… and if I need a break from the people who are driving me crazy nowadays!!
I REGRET : having so many inhibitions, in my past!!
I HEAR : voices in my head… telling me, I am wasting time :P …. And Eric Clapton playing “Cocaine” :P
(also, can’t get this song… Chaliya Chaliya out of my head….. aahh!!)
I AM : at the moment…. Stressed and alone…. Othwerwise…. Plain crazy J
I DANCE : in solitude… and when I take up some stupid jive and salsa workshop :P
I SING : when in mood, keep humming my fav songs often…. Otherwise…. Its simply something to irritate DD J
I CRY : rarely… but when I do…. It starts with something stupid… and goes on for quite a while :P
I AM NOT : Happy with the way things are going at the moment…. (sorry for being too honest!)
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS : writing my CC Papers (27 of them!!)…. And I love to cook, and yea… do those stupid shadows of bird. Eagle, blah, blah!!
I WRITE : because I want to… because I can…. And because its therepeautic
I CONFUSE : people with their names and relations!! :P…. other than that…. No confusions!!
I NEED : music, whenever I am stressed! Food, whenever I am hungry, and people whenever I need to talk!
I TAG : Shantala and Ashwin…. DO THIS FOR UR BLOG GUYS!!
May 9, 2008
She held him near... His presence was enough for her to be re-assured that all would be right again. That people would not be so rude and disgusted with her presence. She found herself drowning in sleep, in his arms. Afraid he would be hurt, she was about to let go of her embrace, when he smiled. A smile which she knew meant, that he wouldn’t let go of her, no matter what. The comfort of his arms made her even more comfortable. After all, it was a long and tiring day! First, she was made to speak about things and events, she knew were false, and then there were these people…. people who were trying to tell her, that her truth, the only thing she knew to be true, was actually false! She recollected how she felt angry from her guts, and how she had reacted by throwing the stick at them. And now she was, in the arms that meant heaven for her… the place where she found peace, in the arms of the only man, she had ever truly loved… she went to sleep!.......
.....................She opened the door to her mother’s room, to find her sleeping peacefully on the floor, with a worn out jacket, she immediately recognised. After the entire trauma, emotions and the action during the day, finding her mother at such peace, made her feel like a fool! It broke her heart thinking about her state, realising that no matter how much she wanted to let it prevail… she couldn’t allow her own mom to remain in this peace, in this fantasy world of hers, where the reality was obviously missing! She recognised the smile, mom had on her face at that moment, and she wished she could capture it! It was the same smile she would have, whenever she was with Dad… Dad…. The man, she, her mom and all had all lost two years ago!
May 3, 2008
(My contribution for this week's Prompt and Link on "Identity")
Been a while since I thought of thee,
Your presence, your face, your identity
The way you would have reacted
To each of my daily antics!
Been a while I thought of thee
The reason u left me and flee
The day you chose to keep me here
Was that too tough on you, mother?
Now I call this place my home,
A place where people like me come,
Though all think of me as one,
I know Ma, I am no orphan
You may have loved me, given me birth
But of people there may be a dearth,
Who understood your love for me,
Not letting me have your identity
The thought of you being near
Has always given me comfort, in fear
It sometimes feels so lonely, here
Wish you would take me, sooner than ever
Then I would have a family,
People who would help me see
Amid this whole wide world of theirs,
My own little identity!