can't think of a heading!

Well there is a scene in the movie "StepMom", in which, Julia Roberts asks her step daughter, who is being bullied by a guy, to take a decision..... of either sitting there crying, or doing something about solving the problem! A really simple scene, now when i think of it, but back then when I saw it, well, it did create a WOW moment for me!

Many a times, in our lives, we live those moments, when we just want to give up.....just leave everything, go home or some safe place and cry and scream our head out, to the world at large, for being so bad at us! It is usually, at these times, that i still remember the scene, and over the times, i have just realised one thing - the world around us, and Life in general, is never going to be rosy, but how we chose to face it, and what we do of the circumstances around us, make a hell lot of a difference! It is one of those things, that has helped me to move on, face the music, just keep going , hoping for a better tomorrow and I know, that one day, this will pay off. In a weird which way, it also makes me feel good about the fact, that when i was given a choice, i chose to face it and fight it out, than go to a corner and cry, and somehow everything around just feels fine, because, somewhere, within me, i know, that i can face this too!

(p.s.: sorry for the too much of I, me, Myself)

Post Mortem

wierd weekend....... infact the past week itself has been wierd!

on the one hand, i have been able to start clearing the clutter in my brain, and taking things in the positive stride, adopting a new approach...... AND on the other hand, my results get announced and, well, not surprising, i do not clear!

But, i am not really, down in the dumps....... simply because, i realised that miracles dont happen..... yup, me passing would have been nothing short of a miracle..... and since that did not take place, my belief in hard work has only strengthened!

this may sound really wierd, but i am happy, that i flunked! seriously! i mean, it has given me an opportunity to excel.... its a blessing in disguise! 'coz, with my current state of mind, if i had cleared, it would have meant, a new change.....and i know, i am not ready for it!

Ofcourse, everyone else i know, cleared..... :) but, the point i always make is, my journey is MINE! and if, my pace is slow, its OK, i mean, im confident of doing what i want, and somehow, my morale is helping me, reach there...... and deff the fact that i have yet not achieved what i want, just indicates one thing for me - i have yet quite some things to learn, before, i achieve what i want!

on the upside, well, i am almost excited and pumping with energy, to start studies again..... and give it my best shot! there is a wierd, almost power giving high, in achieving something, being the dark horse and racing ahead opf others, who feel you are down in the dumps..... and trust me, i luv that feeling.... just hope i am not addicted to that cycle!!!!

And yea, other thing, well, met a person, i had given unnecessary importance in my life, for quite sometime, and you know, how we always feel, when someone is no longer a part of your life..... abt "what if..", "how i wish...", etc.... well, that came to an end! because one look at him, and i knew i was a blessed child to not have him, as a part of my life anymore!

Phew, enough for now, got a couple of more stuff going on in my mind, hopefully, will post them laters!

its exciting!!!!!! the new attitude, new approach is sinking in!

now, its like i suddenly seemed to have found the KEY to happiness!

after months of oblivion, denial, and trying to fight it, i have suddenly started accepting and realising that to truly get what i want, its time, i adopt the attitude, which although i always believed in, had seemed to evade me for some time!

and now, that its creeping back into my system- the nervousness, excitement, intense energy, is all palpable, visible, even partly infectious ........ hee hee hee!!!!

so, now back to the old new Rach! ;-)

trust me ppl, competition is inevitable!!!!!!

new start...again

OK, my third attempt at serious blogging in as many months!

Hopefully, should be successful this time! well im determined to, make it!

and right now, my mind's really not helping me, as i cannot seem to think of a anything to write on!

Have i lost, that 'writing keeda' as my Eng prof used to put it in school???? I hope not, coz that was always one of my claims to 15 seconds of social fame..... in a small which way!

Whew, this is going to be interesting, watch myself, struggle to get back something, i so took for granted.

: Cheers!!!